Until the 2010 FIFA World Cup final on July 11, one half of the country will be pinned to the television while the other half prays for the end of the South African torture. So, how can each of these World Cup camps survive the next few weeks without fraying nerves and expanding waistlines? Adrenamag has come up with its own alternative World Cup survival guide.
1. World Cup Widow. He’s not interested in you anymore. He only loves men with small round balls. So if you can’t beat them join in. Book a day inside a large ball. Try zorbing and get in it together. Just make sure there’s not a big game on.
2. Coping with disappointment. However much you tell yourself it won’t, you know it’s going to happen. When the time comes and England’s World Cup journey plunges off a South African cliff, you will need an adrenalin pick- me-up bigger than Table Mountain. So get out there with your white water rafting, paragliding or zapcating. Click here
3. Stuck to the sofa. You’re so into it, you can’t move from the sofa. Don’t worry – there are activities where you can still sit down. Try karting or quad biking.
4. Hate football. You think Messi is what happens when you forget to use your napkin. Don’t even try to compete. Drift up into the air in a hot air balloon and leave it all behind. You won’t even hear the roars.
5. Trauma of penalties. You can’t look at the penalty shoot-outs. So try a real shoot out – where you have to look and you’re in control. Clay pigeon shooting or archery will train your nerves for the big shootouts.
6. World Cup widower. A rarer creature perhaps. But they do exist. Take her extreme horse riding. And put blinkers on her so she can’t see the football.
7. World Cup withdrawal. What happens when all those days in the pub watching football with friends are long gone? You need to come down gently. Book shared activities like paintball, karting or high ropes where you can laugh and play together. Like the old days.
8. Seeing red. Football has a way of upping the blood pressure. Remember David Beckham’s sending off in France 1998? Water is said to be calming for the nerves. Try kite surfing or kayaking.
9. Bored. Everyone can have enough of football – even if you love it. Remind yourself there are other things in life. Try off-road karting or driving a tank.
10. England win the World Cup beating Germany on penalties. You’re so high you parachute down without the plane even taking you up.
Awww – we lost!